2 more days and Industrial Attachment starts for me. There ends my holidays :( .....
Why cant they just extend it together with the rest of the NTU,since they start on 30th August. Aaiya nvm guess i jus gotta settle down at work. Damn
Anyway i was trying to make full use of my last one week of holidays. Was out practically everyday. Guess i wun go into the details of what i did for each day. Maybe just abt wednesday itself.
So on wednesday, i took a train all the way down to toa payoh to meet my buddy, who jus returned back from India after a 5weeks stay there. She landed only on tue. And i never tot i would meet her the next day itself, simply cos she jus landed and it wouldnt be so possible. It wasnt really a planned one, cos i never tot meeting her would be anytime soon since i wasnt free besides wednesday itself for the entire week, and after tt my IA was gonna start. So i tot i wouldnt be seeing her for quite sometime. But somehow, during the early hrs of wednesday, she msged and asked me if i was free and told me she has to go to the doc to check on some insect bite. So yea, i ended up at her place on wednesday afternoon. Had my lunch with my buddy and her mum and we ate freaking lots. She wouldnt know, but i was enjoying myself just seeing her back after so long. Missed her a lot. Glad tt she is back. I hope i'd have the chance to see her more though, but somehow IA is gonna keep my days very busy. But well, welcome back my dear buddy! Was great spending an entire afternoon with ya!
Watched inception. OMG. Purely amazing. I dunno how someone could come up with such a brilliant script. ITs a movie where u have to pay 100percent full concentration. Just shifting ur eyes or thoughts away from the screen for even a few seconds would lead u to wonderland. I am simply awed by how such a movie was taken. Of cos for some, they would need to see the movie a few more times to understand. I didnt understand everything the first time too but somehow i knew 80percent of wat was going on. Looking at such movies, i m ashamed by how some tamil movies and its directors re so backwards. They fucking take movies which really doesnt need any creative juices. Any tom dick harry would be able to come out with such stupid scripts. On top of tt, u see a pathetic actor like Vijay signing up for such movies forever. These re ppl who re bringing the tamil films and its industry 20 yrs back from wat its suppose to be today.
This is some after thoughts from a very interesting conversation tt i had with my buddy dhivya. We were discussing on how indian guys were like always wanting to be more than frens with the girls tt they get very close too. Well for me personally, i have quite a few close female frens. Somehow i have had interest on two of them before. But there re also these other few tt i have purely behaved only as a fren. I only wanted to be their fren ryte from the start, though they were awesome girls themselves. I dunno but i guess its true to a certain extent that all of us(the guys) will have an intention more than friendship when we re too close with someone. Tt happened to me very recently when i tot i should take my frienship to one level higher. But thats when things turned to be pretty bad. Glad tt now its all over.
So re platonic friendships really possible? Yesterday one of my army frens said its never possible and it will never exist. But i can say tt he is wrong, especially when it comes to me cos i m a living example. I did fall in love with a couple of them but at the end of the day, we ppl are all gd platonic friends and we re going strong somewhat. Somehow u understand fully about someone, after all the bitter moments, like the one i had with dhivya, just to cite an example. I somehow understood tt both of us were better off by being jus friends. She can really be an awesome fren and she herself realizes it. After knowing her chracter so well, i find tt its very true. YOu cant force such a friend to like love ya the way you want. And i didnt understand tt till all those things happened a few months back. So only through moments like tt, will ya learn about someone more. Somehow, i am very clear with myself now and i dun want to be involved with any kindaf love or watsoever, at least for the next two yrs. I want to graduate in peace, without going through a pain tt i mite inflict on myself. But of cos, my eyes re always open scouting for new faces hahaha. I am trying to spot ppl but somehow, i have like no history or watsoever with the ppl i have seen so far. I m talking abt ppl who i just came across while i am outside. I dun even know where they study and stuff. And even if i did know, i dun have a single mutual fren to like get to know these ppl. I dunno, at this rate i am gonna end up with arranged mariages i guess hahahaha.
Oh well, i think i am satisfied with the way things re and the way i am to ppl ard me. At least i dun see any immediate problem ahead of me with any of them. All kinds of fault or distrust have been cleared somehow. As u can see i will never use the word tt "i m happy" with the way things re now. Cos whenever i m happy abt something, it doesnt last for long. Therefore, i am jus satisfied with how things re now and i shall jus have zero expectations from all these. This is one way, i realize, to live a carefree life!
Ganeshan | 8:39 PM
Heyy! I'm back after successfully completing a week of In-Camp Training(ICT). Well mixed feelings abt the camp. Well it definately wasnt as easy as i tot it would be, in fact it was pretty tough the first two days especially. However, i sort of enjoyed it, cos of the company. Yes, i m not joking. I enjoyed being there cos i was able to see all my army frens after a very long period. And we like stayed in the same bunk jus like our NS days. Was pretty cool to have everyone ard, including the man. I definately would not wanna defer for next yr cos tt would disallow me to do the next ict with my own guys. The reason why i might defer is because i would most probably appl for sweden exhange programme. So if my stay down there extends beyond the reservist day, then i have no choice but to defer. So lets see how.
Anyway, my army fellows are one of the nicest fellows ard. My toe nail sort of came of tearing my skin abit during a tau-pok session on Xaviar. It was terribly painful and i jus excused mysel to go toilet and wash off the blood. But all the guys came to my aid and i was pretty touched with the way all of them poured their concern upon me. Really quite touched. i didnt really express right then how i felt cos tts not exactly wat i do, but well i think i was pretty moved... Thanks guys.
Well, the ppl who care for ya the most are somehow most evident in important times, like during ICT. I m not talking abt my fellow army guys here now. I m talking abt those who took the trouble to check out on me during my stay in camp. I dunno abt others, but for me, i personally feel tt for whoever who check on ppl like us during times like this, they re the ones who truely think and care for us, and this re the ppl who value us the most. That is my believe on this. There is a reason why i go to this extent to appreciate a simple msg or call from frens during ICT. Well, it personaly means a lot to me because when i was in the army serving NS last time, my mum would be the one person who would truely show her concern by talking to me, getting to know wat is going on in camp and how i am treating it and all. She really bothered how i was at times like this. It is when u re inside that u re like removed from the outside world. So any initative taken by ppl from this outside world would really mean a lot since we re going thru a prison kindaf life inside. For those who actually texted me and cared abt me for this past one week, really thanks. There were like 4-5 frens who bothered to check on me. Thanks really! I will always treasure u'll for this little bit that u'll did.
One more week of holidays left before i step my foot on keppel, starting on the 26th. Have quite a few outings left before i am pulled into the working world. Hopefully i enjoy myself one last time before i hardly could find any time for myself.
A very weird thought and a scary feeling is within me. I am really reluctant these days on certain matters. I am always having my doubts on it. Of cos i m being more careful. I dun want to fall again or be bitten again. Somehow, i have a bad feeling abt this. Hmmmm, i am gonna be left rotting at the end of the day..thats wat i feel. Hopefully i m not left to such a stage, but it is possible. What has to happen, will happen, so lets just take things as it happens to us!
Ganeshan | 6:26 PM
hmmmm, yes i m a little sad.... the presence of someone would be so crucial for me now... but well, somehow, distance seperates us. Supposedly i was brought into this special day, by my bbf, exactly a yr back...where she said she wanted to always celebrate this day together regardless of how busy both of us were and whatever we were to be doing in our own lifes. Well, glad i took tt damn seriously. Before tt yr, she used to celebrate it with her bestie manju... but somehow, i felt happy tt day, on 9th july 2009, to have successfully filled up the void tt manju had left. I promised within me tt i would do whatever to make this day, for every successive yr, count! Haiz... one yr passes and i cant seem to do shit, jus disappointed with myself.... Somehow a msg from delhi has brought life to my dampened mood. Feel much better and it made me smile. Anyway, just like to take this oppurtunity to say thanks for everything..... so far, for all smiles and happiness u brought upon me and the changes u caused to happen within me and my life... sorry if I, at any pt of time, have hurt u...and i promise, to be a better buddy! No matter wat, i will never part away from ya, regardless of whatever bad happens.... I'll always treasure YOU and this Special DAY! THANKS Da for everything!!!
Ganeshan | 10:26 AM
Lots of probs with ppl ard me. A number of my gd frens having probs in their lives now. Feel sad for them, hope things get better for everyone. I've kindaf settled down in this new place. It doesnt seem like a place where it would be convenient for me to study, but guess i have to see wat i can do. Maybe i'll apply for exchange and get away from singapore for a gd 6months. It will be a gd time for me to reinvent myself and then come back a whole new person. Tts wat i believe but i have not fully decided on it yet.
Pretty sad tt one of my fren is extending her trip in india. But guess she needs it and it is a one time thingy. Its a gd experience for her to be there and to breathe some fresh holiday air before she comes back home, where she will be forced into a machine kindaf routined life. I support the idea of her extension. Gd choice.
World cup tournament is nearing its end. Been sleeping damn late all this while and wasting lots of time outside cos of soccer. Also have been involved in bettings. Lucky i have not lost any big money or wat. Got back all the money tt i spent on bettings. Hoping for a last form of income thru the remaining 3matches. And talking abt soccer, i hurt my ankle badly past sunday during our soccer. I sprained it the same way twice. Its pretty painful but i m trying my best to recover soon. Hope it will be alrite.
Reservist is just 5days away. I am so not prepared to go back to the army. Haiz. I'm totally not in tt same mentallityas before. Hopefully one week passes fast. The only thing i am looking forward in this reservist is the oppurtunity to spend time with my scout fellows. Been such long time tt i last saw them. Hopefully we dun get tortured inside.
On a parting note, life is full of ups and downs. For us to keep dwelling on either side of it for too long, is gonna damage our own lifes. Best is to move on immediately and go for the next step in life. Happiness and miseries wun last for very long, they do come in new forms from time to time. We have to adjust according to situation and live life. No one is perfect so life wun be perfect for anyone too. Try to live each day with a smile, at least then u start of each day happily! Hahaha! Adiyos!
Ganeshan | 7:01 AM