I feel so fucked up about everything in life now. I dun know why this is happening. Haiz. This yr has definately been bad so far. Bad news after bad news and especially now, things re reaching its peak. Be it family, financial or love, everything has been failures so far.
I wished i was just luckier somehow and was somebody else totally. There has been no peace for a very long time already. Last yr when i shifted in together with my sis and her children, life became much better and i was really happy about everything. The place was so near my sch and all of us were doing so fine. One fine day the news broke up within the hse that we needed to sell off and move out soon. And well, after getting so used to the place and settling down as if this would be the place tt i'd be in forever, this damn news came upon. I am more worried about my travelling to sch, my studying pattern and all. I was so used to my room and it was a very nice place to study. It did reflect in my marks for both the sems that i did while in the hse. Now its gonna be changed entirely and i'll never get back this room again. And tt scares me cos i do wanna perform like this all the way. Fuck laa. To add on, my hse was so near the damn sch. Tt was really a major plus pt as i have never gotten shagged since i could wake up much later for sch and when i returned home very late from sch, it was so damn easy. Now tt too will be changed. This is definately gonna affect. Cb laaa.
I know we had to leave the hse in a very short notice of time. And i understand my sis and bro in law re putting in tremendous efforts in finding a hse asap despite their very hectic schedules. But seriously, accessibility is the key thing i am looking at. Yesterday they told me its most prob bukit panjang. And from wat they described, it is a damn screwed up place in terms of accessibilty. They told me it has direct bus to orchard and central areas but tts not wat i'm looking for. My work place is gonna be at tuas and i have to be there by 7.30am each day. They told me it takes 13minutes to walk from the hse to the bus stop, then have to take either the LRT or bus to Chua chu kang. And worse still the LRT stop is one of the last stop in the line so reaching CCK itself takes lots of time. After tt i have to continue the journey from Chua Chu kang to pioneer. WTF. TT is long. ITs almost the same as travelling from yishun. In fact i think from yishun it was more straight forward. So much of hassle. Haiz. IT is at this kind of time tt moving in together might have been a wrong move. IT is very hard to please everyone.
For me my stuides are the most impt thing in my life now. My last leg somemore. I dun wanna screw up. That is why i m so concerned abt all this transport issues. I really dunno wat to do haiz. My dad is a major cause for all these to happen. If only he was responsible enuff, we could have avoided all this changes for the past yr. It is so fucking annoying to shift again and again. It doesnt reflect nice on ya too. I am totally sickened by everything. Haiz. Cb laaa. Now i dunno how to put it to my sis or bro in law tt bukit panjang is seriously a bad choice though the hse might be nice. Haiz. I seriously dunno sia. I feel bad cos they have been doing everything to run the family and here i am like complaining abt this kindaf stuff. But i have no choice.
With this prob up in my head, there are other things happening at the same time. And i dunno why. Am i really tt unlucky? Why isnt my time not gd at all? It is always bad infact. I dunno why this is happening but fuck i m just getting irritated with the way my life is. And i am losing hope tt it would get better. I cant wait to get my own job and settle down. TT is when things will take a turn. Until then, its gonna be shit life. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! This is so bladie annoying.
Ganeshan | 7:37 PM