Past week i finally got paid for doing work at Marina Bay Sands. I was suppose to work 4 days but ended up working for only two cos the company was being bastard. Giving me a fucking job tt for sure is not suitable for me. I am not trying to boast or wat but i think i m seriously over qualified for doing some shit job. So i decided to cancel my slots for tue an thur respectively! Nvm i have earned enuff to keep my weekends funfilled. hahaha.

There is somethings tt u'd never be able to forget or let go. There re also some things abt the past tt i cannot comprehend at all. I should have handled it properly from the start maybe, if not wat has happened today wouldnt have happened at all. I guess things might have been very diff if only the proper touch was given. And one thing is for very sure, all guys are manipulative. No guy can be that nice, its just the way that they deceive the ppl ard them. Time will reveal the flaws and ulterior intentions of ppl.

I have learnt thru hard and quite painful ways not to really share my emotions with anyone else. Tts the best way. Some will say its not good to bottle up ur feelings cos it will break u down. Haha. The reversed happened for me though and i dun wanna go thru such things again. Since i have always got the tendency to learn from my mistakes, i'll never repeat any of my stupidity in the future.

There is this person whom is my idol and i actually have picked out certain things from him regarding handling with emotions and all. Tt person actually said in an interview, "wat's the pt of telling people the way u feel, most of the time they hardly dun care. Just live ur life the way it is and take the things the way it turns out to be!" Guess thats the path tt i am undertaking.

For me to say this, there re reasons. Well let me just state out one. At a time where i didnt feel like telling ppl the way tt i feel and stuff, some of my own frens show lots of concern and wanted to know how i felt and they really were being there for me. Then it actually made me think tt, no matter wat, i'd have this one or two ppl who i can rely on to let out my inner emotions which i hardly let out to ppl who know me. I dun like to share my emotions simply because i dun want ppl to see me differently. They always thing i am a damn happy go lucky fellow which is wat i exactly want. Though i am like tt, i still chose to be diff to this one or two ppl. But then as time progresses, ppl change and they way that they behave towards ya change. I dunno why tt is so but well, thats the fact. They jus change. And when tt happens and u still believe tt they will be there to hear u out, u re totally doomed. U re simply gone shit. And tt day when u realise tt u cant really depend on them and they re not tt willing to hear u out like they used to, u'd really feel miserable.

Best is not to trust anyone. I have always been let down after trusting someone so so much. Therefore, i cant carry on doing tt. Whatever that has happened has happened and it cant be changed. For those who tell a diff tale with their own improvisations to the actual incident tt happened, just wanna say this to you'll. You'll know it urself that watever u are doing is to gain sympathy and so tt ppl ard ya dun see the incident the rightful way they re suppoose to see it. For a person who tries to hide the truth, they re the ppl to be blamed for watever tt happens. But well, all said and done, i cant be simply be bothered by ppl who have backstabbed me by saying things otherwise abt me behind my back. Though they think i dun know abt it at all, well i do. For me not to react at all just shows i simply have washed hands and dun care abt all this. It comes with maturity, something tt these ppl lack. And being the person i am, i have put all this behind me and act as if nothing has happened. But never take me for granted, a tiger stays low only to pounce later. I'm simply like tt. So be careful with the way u re to me. I'm not tt nice afterall haha.
Ganeshan | 9:12 PM