A Happy New Year to All! Well just felt like blogging this out! I'm jus saddened by something! Wat a time for it to have happened! Haiz! Bad news at the start of the yr! Hope my buddy is alrite! Dunno how she's taking it cos i dunno the level of closeness between her and the granddad! Hmmm! Sometimes somethings re inevitable! I dunno why it has to happen at this time of the yr. Hmmm jus sad! And i think whatever that i had in mind, i gotta shelf it for now! Not a gd time for all that i guess. Never expected this to happen. But guess life must go on as per normal. I wanna help in whatever way i can! And i hope i'll be allowed to. Hmmmmzzzzzz!
Ganeshan | 11:34 PM

Hi my dear frens, its been such a long time since i updated this blog! I wanted to, immediately after returning from my phuket trip. But guess it took me another ten days to finally set my mind to blogging! Guess i'm not gonna go into details of the phuket trip like i wanted to. The photos in fb will roughly show how much we enjoyed! So i shall follow the saying," A picture says a thousand words!" So see from it.

As we all know, today is the end of the yr 2009! The absolute last day of the yr. The most appropriate post that i can come up with on this day would be to review my entire yr. In the review before this yr, u could notice how much suffering and pain i went thru for 2008. We shall see how this yr has treated me.

2009, a yr with many changes! All the changes were somehow for the gd. When compared to 2008, 2009 is surely a great boost! Its a really fulfilling yr, turning my life into a much better place.

At the start of the yr, i had to initiate some big change within my social circle. My results at the end of sem 1 yr 1 in 2008 was rather disappointing. I didnt get gd grades at all and i knew i didnt study well enough that time as most of my time was taken away from me somehow! And watching ur frens perform ard ya and u urself remaining in the shit hole really makes u look damn bad. That was what happened to me. I knew tt me stepping into the uni was a dream come true for my mother! She was so so proud of me that time. No words to describe that. But i realized i was traveling in a path that would not cos me any gd in my uni life. I wasnt doing my mum proud. And i was very demoralised tt i couldnt perform the way i actually could. Last min mugging never works in the uni! U have to be consistent all the way. I had to learn this the hard way. And thanks to veera for making a call to me right at the start of the yr and letting me know what my mistakes were and why i flopped! I did one gd thing then which was to take his advice. And i wanted to make sure that i turn everything over cos true fact is that there is no one that can help u if u cant help urself. With that being said, i actually stopped wasting time with a certain person. No matter how the truth is being denied, guess i made the right choice. And now when i look back, i am thouroughly satisfied that i took that decision then.

Sem 2 Yr 1 was a very challenging sem for me as i needed to get my GPA to a whole new level. If i were to flunk in sem 2, my end wasnt too far away. So i placed all my hopes on reviving my GPA with sem 2. Gladly, a few new names spurted out in my life at that pt of time and one of it was the most significant one! Somehow, i was motivated so much to do well by that figure and in the end, i did somehow well for that sem, pulling my GPA up as i wanted and getting me on a safer side. Thank You for coming into my life!

Following that, i did my special sem and the person who was a true motivation at that pt of time also did it with me. I really wanted to get my GPA one notch higher and had to score an A for marketting. Well i obtained exactly tt at the end of the special sem. That was the sign, showing me that i knew my way to score. As u can see, i dun have anything else besides the uni life to talk abt in the first sem cos thats how closely attached i was with my studies. Haha. No choice i had to suffer due to my poor performance in the first sem first yr!

Besides the uni life in the first half of the yr, i also learnt that the girl who i was once interested in got attached. Surprisingly i wasnt sad abt it cos i sort of got over all that in the later part of 2008. But i was a bit worried then knowing abt the choice she had made but now i think all is well hahaha! Was a gd choice i have to say. She was another person who has motivated me by being so responsible in life! Did learn the impt things in life from her. And now i am glad that we re gd frens.

I didnt have any love interest after that and i knew my priority was to do well in uni! So i stayed away from having any such thoughts with anyone at that pt of time. June was a very fulfilling holiday. Firstly, i took part in the camp kathiroli, purely to show my support for my fren. And glad i made her happy at the end of the camp. I was so on in the camp only due to one reason. If u volunteer to help, do it well. Dun be there for the sake of it! So yea, there iant much instances that u can see me being so enthu in something. And also, i asked dhivya to be my partner then as i knew i could click very well with her! And that proved to be a gd choice too. Camp kathiroli turned out to be one of the best camps that i have ever been to. Was a great affort and a lot of sweet memories.

In the month of June, me and my frens finally organised a overseas trip after yrs of talking abt it. It came true in June and we travlled to perth to visit our fren krish there and also to enjoy the sights of perth. Was a very relaxing and gd trip though we didnt engage ourselves in any activity there or wat. What can u expect in the winter period? I jus loved the friendliness of the ppl there. Was truely an unforgettable trip. Had a gd time.

The rest of that holidays was spent seeing all my close frens and preping up for the new sem, yr 2 of study! I totally transformed myself into a serious mugger for sem 1,year 2. I aimed a GPA of 4 for that sem itself, so that i can raise my cumulative to a much better position. And for that, i didnt go out on saturdays sundays and cancelled most of my outings. I guess i can count the number of times that i went out. Its like ard 5-6. Was a gd move i think. Never been so consistent with my work before.

Met another few frens in that sem. Junaidah was one of them. A very sweet person! Pls dun look down on me that i have so far only mentioned girls in my post. Haha! Its just that it is so much easier to click with the guys that i have made quite a number of them alomg the way. And given my character is hard to appreciate girls but i did appreciate these few personalities and that is why i m stating them here. Alex, a guy of cos, was another addition to my study grp. Guess it was a gd inclusion cos he really gave us the attitude to mug hard and do well. Thats the way i saw it at least.

After going thru hell that sem, i finally cleared all my exams. So question is whether i did as i wanted to for that sem! Whether all my effort, plus not going out, and shutting myself from all sources of distratctions served me well. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!! It definately did. Results came in a couple of days ago! And guess wat, i surpassed my expectations! I scored 4.11 for this sem alone. For all those hard work, finally it paid off. And once again, i had a few reasons to be motivated. Similar to sem 2 yr 1 that is haha! Thanks again for being a gd motivation. And also, my phuket trip. I was expecting a lot out of the trip. Didnt enjoy one whole sem and that was the time tt i can get everything out. So yea was a proud moment when i actually saw my grades. After a yr of struggling in sch, i have set my GPA to somewhere not so bad!

One huge reason of me doing well was partly due to the end of my family problems! There were so much of issues revolving between me, my dad and our house. Wasnt a place condusive to study then. But before the start of my sem 2, my sis brought out this plan which i saw as the only solution to my dad's problems. It was to shift in together into a new hse. And that too ended up being in pioneer, being so near to my hse. Initially, i was so paranoid and worried abt it. But now, i am very very happy that we made that decision. It brought me laughter, a gd place to study, a new form of luxury and no room for me to worry abt family issues. Thanks to my sis and my bro in law for being such great ppl, bringing such a change into the family!! I m glad that finally i see family members ard me, instead of the four walls that i was stuck in back in Yishun!

Phuket trip, one of the highlight of the yr i would say! Wad a trip! Gosh! Tremendous! I enjoyed it in every possibe way that i could have. Did fucking lots of stuff! A fantastic way to end off the yr. Was a gd way to relief myself off all the stress that i went thru. A few incidents did happen there. And somehow, it brought out a new change in me! I finally realised wat was in my subconscious mind! Hmmmm! Finally, something is happening to me! hahaha.

When i came back, it was time for x mas. Celebrated the eve in a very simple manner. With dev and anu at vivo and guest appearance by my one and only nephew! Was a simple yet nice outing. I got the time to talk to anu after a long long time. And going out like tt actually gets my mind off what is bothering me so much right now! I m jus not myself! Purely disturbed!

X mas, spent with my family! We went to jack's place! Finally had turkey for xmas. Was nice. Great dinner that was. Thanks to my sis and bro in law for that too. Besides all that, for the second half of the yr, i saw a few of my close frens getting attached! Especially those in my grp of frens in sch. One by one. Feel happy for them. And i have somehow developed this sense of loneliness. Hope it would go away soon. Finally got to meet rama too after one whole yr that he locked himself in his place to study for A levels. Glad that he has now completed it. Want him to come NTU. And i wish he did very well for his A levels. Would be nice to go sch with someone who was ur fren since primary 1. Hahaha!

As u can see, though not much have happened in yr 2009, it was still a rather gd yr. There were no big forms of sorrows that i can remember for the entire yr. That itself is a big thing. And i thank whoever up there, for bringing in some really nice ppl to my life for the yr. Will always cherish all these ppl throughout my life! And this is also a yr that i missed my mum lesser due to the nice and fantastic ppl ard me! I hardly thought of that incident which separated her from me. Thank you mum for a wonderful yr. And i always know tt though i cant see ya, u re still here with me, guiding me! Thank you and i love u lots!

As i look ahead into yr 2010, i can see that there is gonna be a huge change in my life. I will initiate it right at the start of the yr. Whether it turns out to be gd or bad i wun know! But it will be everything that i have pinned my hopes for, for now! Lets see how things go. Wish all the ppl ard me had an equally fulfilling year. Let's step into the new yr with much joy and happiness and make it yet another awesome yr to spend our lives in! Happy New yr Everyone! Love ya all!!!
Ganeshan | 6:11 PM

Alrite it has been exactly one week since exams ended and seems like i have done hell lots of shit from then till now!!! First of all, i overnite like twice within this 1 week period! One day was gone for tf2 and the other day was for drinking. We wanted to have a after exam or end of sem celebration! Besides tt had to settle stuff for thai trip. Yesterday went to change the currency and we also ate at gayathree's! Rama is also going overseas, to india for like 3 weeks! So i guess yesterday was the last time i saw him for this yr. Gonna be boring a bit when i return since both my bestie and bbf will be out of singapore when i land! Haiz.

Speaking of my bbf, well i met her on fri for a hindi movie titled paa! I never fail to enjoy my time whenever i'm out with her. Regardless of wat we do. She's just too nice. I tot the movie was actually gonna make me tear but in the end she teared for the ending hahaha! Not many ppl get the priviledge to see her tear eh, but i did. Was a real nice outing. She's been such a great fren for this entire yr. Seriously, a new addition to my life, spicing things up. I really feel so blessed knowing someone like her. I was thorougly motivated by her during my first sem in sch. And i also ended up doing well. Not just tt, she went on to actually help me out for camp kathiroli. I actually asked two others who simply refused when they heard the name aarthi involved. But my bbf didnt really take too long to give me an answer. In fact she agreed to be my partner immediately after i asked her. That is One reason why i feel i owe her so much till now! Really thanks for all that. MArketing wouldnt have been fun without my bbf doing it together with me plus al the journey back home which made us much much closer, i can never forget them. Really thank you for all those nice things u have done for me which i think i dun wanna mention cos i keep this kinda things more to my heart. As i have mentioned in my previous post, bbf is no doubt the fren of the year. Glad that i chose to become frens with her. Its very hard for someone of the opposite gender to be genuinely nice towards u these days. My bbf is an exception of sorts. And for that, i respect ya a lot. And yea, initially many sources had told me vaious stuff abt her tt caused me to avoid her a little. But its only after i personally gotta know my bbf, that i realised all those stuff said abt her was bullshit. Its how ppl make assumptions. Guess there aint anyone else better than me now, who knows abt my bbf as much as i do. Ask me if u wanna know abt her, i'll give ya the facts! I really feel for such an awesome person to have been avoided by some fren of hers. It sucks to know tt ppl cant appreciate true blue frens who care for ya. All i wanna say is tt no matter who u lose, garnie will always be by ur side, cos tts how much i owe you. Gonna miss ya a lot my bbf. 3 weeks of not seeing ya is seriously no joke. In fact tts the only thing tt saddens me now. Just wanted to write something abt my buddy since both of us wun be seeing each other for quite some time and seriously speaking, she deserves something like this for all that has been done for me. Seriously wat i did is nothing compared to the change that has been brought out in me by my bbf. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING.

Besides all these, i actually gotta watch two other movies. 2012 and the new moon. Both the movies were gd in its own ways. New moon i watched with junda and she is another fren who really cares a lot. Really feel blessed to have made such nice awesome frens. The company was gd and so was the movie. 2012 was with my sji guys. We paid only 7 dollars for so much of graphics and special effects. thats why i felt tt it was so worth it watching it in cinemas.

Also did a little shopping with rama. The both of us never bought anything for ourselves since the start of the yr. We didnt even spend our money on any big outings or wat and neither of us clubbed since the start of the yr. Thats one reason why both of us went on a spending spree. I bought three things instantly the moment i saw it. Usually i take time to buy my stuff but these time round, i was just very keen on buying things tt catches my attention. Not just the shopping, we actually forced the others to eat with us at expensive places. All the food were damn nice.

Anyway, i am now very particular abt my diet and all. Have entirely stopped drinking coke and no more ten or 11pm meals. I eat salad at ard 10 if i m still hungry with low fat cream. So far have only been taking orange or some other fresh juices. Well the reason for all these trouble is tt i am determined to get my six packs by the end of two months. I have already lost considerable amt of weight and have my stomach sucked in already. Now just need proper cuts to get those abs defined and i'll be done. Really quite cool to have such abs, especially when i get to show it off to the chinese guys who think indians will never get such abs. Hahaha, no offense to all my chinese frens, but its true tt we ourselves spoiled our image by drinking lots and spotting a beer belly and all. Not your fault. But i feel gd tt i am no longer part of the beer belly community hahaha. Well though its tempting to eat some stuff at times, i am really restricting myself from all those. What i am telling myself is tt, for all those sacrifices i am making now, i will get a very big price, which is the abs. That is one thing tt is keeping me motivated. And yea, this thai trip is gonna break my momentum hugely and i dunno how i m gonna cope with it. somehow must find time to train while i m there too haha!

Alrite, just wanted to say all these. I'll be off to thailand from the 16th to the 23rd. So dun miss me so much haha! For those who re happy tt i am not gonna be here for a week, gd for ya too. Enjoy urselves haha! Anyway very sad abt one thing tt i really wanted to settle somewhat soon. But guess time didnt permit me to. Haiz. There is only one person who can help me out of this but guess i should just suppress it within me. It would have been gd only if i had settled it before i left to thailand but guess i cant reverse back time or wat. So yea, too bad lor, unless some miracle happens and i am being helped out. Alrite alrite, guess i have said enuff. Its gonna be damn bladie fun for the next one week. Damn bladie excited. Bye all my frens, will be back with a bang from thailand! See ya'll and take care!
Ganeshan | 3:14 AM

OMG!!! OMG!!! I cant believe but guess what, my exams re finally over!!! it was like a prolonged stress period and tremendous torture i went thru for weeks!!! Practically like living in hell while preparing for exams! 6 exams to sit for is really no joke. My exams from what i know started one of the earliest, like on 20th november, when compared to my frens. But i ended only yesterday, which was on the 8th of december, the absolute last day of exams in NTU! But well, somehow i am past that stress period and finally having a sigh of relief!

The exams went well for me this time. As in i have never really studied to this extent! It was like pure hardcore mugging! My day starts at 8am and ends at 12.30am! Thats how long i sat down and studied! Hopefully the effort pays off cos i have really pinned high hopes on my GPA shooting up by quite a bit. Please wish me for the best hahaha!

Anyway, my motivation all this while to study hard, is the thailand trip that i'll be having from the 16th to the 23rd. Firstly, i need to thank suresh for being an excellent fren and co-ordinator for the entire trip! He practically did a one man show in coming up with the entire trip's plans and stuff. Way much better than any agency can offer ya. Can ya believe he actually went to the libraray and the thai embassy to get information so that our trip will be worthwhile. Really hats off to him for that. And he never complained a single bit. Didnt even wanna bother us cos he knew we had exams and he didnt mind at all planning all by himself. Well, if it was someone else, i wouldnt trust them in the planning but this time its our own suresh! So i really knew he was gonna do a fantastic job but he surpassed tt ater i read his detail plan about the trip! So for all that, Thanks for everything Suresh! I think i at least owe ya this much! Guess this trip will be one notch higher than the previous aussie trip in which we already had a great time, cos the activities for the thai trip are as such. I seriously cant wait to let loose hahaha!!! Its a no rules no regulations kindaf enjoyment that i can only have with these guys! Imagine ater mugging and being studious for 4 pure months, this would really be a one time stress relief for all that hell i went thru. Great great great! Damn excited. hahaha.

The thai trip will make up for most of my plans for holidays. Other than that i wanna spend time with all my important frens. The list goes on. I wanna meet up with shalu, raja, ashwini, shameni, sajeev, se wei, prashan, sameera, my army guys, Gabi, veera and gang, no doubt my sji frens (including my bestie rama, anu, kursie, vidya, yu yang, wei an), anitha, junaidah and my BBF(fren of the year)!!! Hahaha! Of cos i am most of the time out with my sji guys and they definately top the list cos its a never ending excitement and joy meeting up with them. And Rama is all free cos he finished his A levels so i have no worries on who to call whenever i m bored cos i know he'll be there. Hope i didnt miss out any names of close frens cos this was really quite a risk putting up names of ppl who i wanna meet. So pls frgive me if u think u didnt see ya name but ya know u will meet me! hahaha! And yea, i wanna meet vishnu when he comes back. He is such an awesome brother. Never seen him for ages since he left for overseas exchange. Glad he is finally coming back. oh ya i really wanna see sara. Ever since that fellow went army its been damn hard to meet up with him. I still rmb the times where sara, suraen, suresh, me and krishna were like meeting up very frequently during our JC days. Really must make the effort this time to get him to meet us.

One fren tt i have not spoken in ages and not in proper talking terms is vicky. Well, despite all the rough times, there were still some nice things that he has done for me as a fren. Like really great stuff cos only someone very close to ya will do such kinda favours and all. So guess i sort of regret choosing the path of not talking with him. I dunno, just something that hit my thoughts recently. Maybe its time that i actually like forget the past and talk to him normally and include him in all future outings. But still, i dun wanna step down from my ego and make him feel as if i need him there as a fren when he doesnt. If thats what it will turn out to be, then i really wouldnt wanna make any decision of remoulding the friendship. I dunno how to go abt this issue, so i need comments from a third party. What do ya thing i should do? hahaha

Ok, i dunno i am jus tempted to type out so much since i havent for ages. But yea guess all this is coming out real naturally so i shall continue. There is one thought that has really hit me recently. Like real deep down my brain cells and heart. After working so hard and knowing that i am capable of understanding wat my priorities are, i think its time for me to have some kindaf interesting things happening in my life. I am feeling a bit lonely nowadays when it comes to relationships. Almost all my closest guy frens ard me re attached and that leaves me like the only one who seriously has like no one to begin with. I dunno if its a sad case but yea i m now, quite affected by it after seeing one fren after another getting attached. Since i know the way i work and how i have set my priorities, i think i should go ahead with finding someone truely for me. Had been single all this fucking twenty two to twenty three years and i think its abt time tt i start somewhere, which is now.

Really a deep thought cos i wanna have that someone whom i can feel for, love and do whatever i feel like doing. Being stuck to my books all day and caring only abt my sch work and stuff has really made me gone mad! Guess i need this huge change in my life, to make life meaningful as it should be.

So who should it be is the question that arises when i am thinking abt such stuffs. Hmmmm, i really dunno cos nowadays, its very hard. I am not the kind who gets to know girls easily, nt now especially cos this is no longer jc. I hardly have time for myself in uni to spot for someone. The social circle is getting smaller and smaller so its hard to meet some one ultra new, like someone who suddenly falls down from the sky or pops out of no where. Its not like in the movies. So, if thats the case it has to be someone already in my life. But thats a scary thought to bring in, cos i dun wanna affect any of my friendship with anyone unless there is really some special kindaf feeling going on, which i highly doubt from anyone in the first place. Hahahaha! Cos when the name ganeshan comes out, the first thing they will term me as is a fren, just a fren!! I was never a choice for relationships. Maybe thats the way i have been and have portrayed myself, so maybe tts why! haha. Haiz! Sad sad sad. It just has to happen yea? Maybe its like never for me or maybe its not just time. But yea i am really stating this out as this is one damn thing that i really affected me in recent times.

Oh yes, need to bring out this topic though i think it mite cause some really heated up emotions from certain ppl. I have been deleted from someone's facebook account and this is the first time someone has ever done that. I was kindaf surprised more than shocked actually. Cos seriously, there is like no issues directly between me and that person. There were no arguements of sort but still, i was hated so much that i have been removed from their list. Hahaha! I dunno la, not tt i am very mush affected by it. But i think the reason for deleting me and such is really quite childish to begin with. I have been termed as a "bad guy" by a certain grp of ppl for obvious reasons. Well, seriously, there re two sides to the coin. I hate it when ppl only see one side of it and make a judgement. But in this case, i dun think i am affected at all cos it just shows how simplistic this ppl re. Everyone has their own choice of actions and i had to take this step in order for a better outcome for whoever was involved. I jus really thought things were getting a bit out of hand and something had to be done. And its not the first time such a thing has occured in the other person's life. Its just a repeat of events. And based on that, i dunno why i m faulted entirely. I seriously cant make everyone happy. I know my close frens know who i am and that how much i mean to them. Thats enough for me. Seriously. I have frens who would just do almost anything for me and know me inside out. With these ppl ard me, nothing like tt affects me. So if u cant see the value in my friendship, why not, delete lor. Seriously no loss for me. As i said, i cant satisfy everyone. If u fail to see my reasoning, thats purely not my fault.

Well, in november, besides my exams, quite a number of big incidents occured. Firstly, hema's wedding. I really regret not going for it. Seriously i couldnt risk it cos it was just at a time of my heavily contented paper. So i had to sit down and mug for it. HOpe hema really understands and no third party rubs it in to her on how i didnt even care of not coming and all. I wouldnt state it here if i didnt care so yea! Hema is really a nice person so i really regret not being there, in such a memorable moment of her life. But of cos my sincere wishes to her for a wonderful and happy life! She definately will have. So yea really sorry i couldnt be there for the wedding! Another incident was my dear fren shalu's grandmother passing away. She was really stressed up about it when she called me when her grandmother was in the hospital. And i really hoped for everything to be fine for her. But it turned out in such away, that no one could do anything abt it. This kindaf things just happens so its hard to prevent it. Its just better to get prepared. And i didnt go for the funeral. Hmmm, i really would have if not for the exams cos i really wanna be there for such everts cos i know tts when a fren really needs ya! Even if ya miss a happy occasion its ok cos ur fren will still be happy. But for a sad incident like this, u gotta make an effort to be there to support ur fren. Well, i couldnt be there at such a time, so i sincerely apologise for that.

To end it off for this post, i would like to say i am freaking happy with the way my family has moulded. Its really nice to have family members ard me. Unlike times where i was contained within four damn walls and had no one to talk to. After many many years i finally saw a family celebration for my dad's birthday. Was really so so happy that day when i got to feed my father and he fed me! Haiz! I dunno i just feel i am getting less and less closer to him as my age increases. Dunno! Its just a very sad thing! I really really love him to an extent that i can say i have no one else after him. Seriously i dunno what i will do without him. I was really touched when i saw him take a pic with my mum's photo cos he wanted her to be included in the celebration. Really a moment that made me tear. I never had such a joyous moment with my dad for very long. But again, i dun wanna set high hopes cos my life has always turned bad whenever i m too happy abt something. I wish she was here with us to see all these. She would love it! Being in such a lovely house and being together is one thing that will really make her smile. And of cos seeing her son studying so hard in the uni would really make her feel so so much happier. Haiz!!! Guess i m not lucky enough in that sense. The most impt person in my life is not there. But no matter wat, watever i am doing now and if i am mugging so so hard, its not just for me but its purely for ya!!! I really want ya to be proud of me, like the way u always have been. Nothing satisfies me more than u being proud of whatever i am achieving. I just want it to get better and better. Miss ya dearly MUM. That word is so strong that it makes me tear anytime i say it! Hmmmm, i dunno, it jus pains me to realise that its a never used word in my life anymore! Something that should never happen to anyone else. But i wun end this post on a depressing note. No matter what, i will keep smiling, cos i know thats what really matters to ya the most! So yea, i am smiling mum!!! For ya! And pls bring the precious girl of my life to me. It is about time hahahaha!!! Just show her to me somehow i say hahahah!!!!
Ganeshan | 7:32 PM