Hmmm i really feel sad. I have seriously no one else to go to and cry this out though i feel like. But yea i am really very heartbroken. When u give out all u have to make sure u revive from all the pain u have gone thru, it wun be easy to take another huge huge beating. But it seems tt i am constantly getting tt beating, tt is almost putting me entirely down after this long struggle to come back normal in life. I dun see why i have to suffer this much when i havent done anything wrong. I cant even state what kindaf problems i m facing cos its too embarassing to state it here. One thing is for sure is tt the problems re surfacing right to the top all at one time and at the end of the day, i would have lost everything!!! I am not a person who easily gives up. But now is a time i am really being forced to so much so i am getting so scared with my entire life! I dunno if i would sustain any other step or will i be able to!

There is one person i wanna truely cry out to and tt is my mum!! "I dunno why i have to go thru all this. The most painful part is tt u re not here with me to support me. At least if u were here, i wouldnt really care how much is being lost. But now i jus feel so empty. Thanks to dad that there is almost gonna be nothing left! Hmmm, u leave me with very few options left mum! Wat am i to do? I took so long to be happy again and now i am almost going back to the bottom of the well right again. I tot i was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but things re happening in such a way tt it has lead me to where i was lost from! Hmmm. I dunno who else would hear me out or would care. I dun trust anyone else too. Tts why i want you to know! Hope at least u re there to hear me out. Pls pls pls, give me the strength to overcome everything and resolve everything tt is happening to us now! I have never prayed to anyone besides u. Pls help me mum! I really love u!"

Life shoudlnt be so painful sometimes! No matter how hard i have tried to not get angry with my dad, now it seems tt he has put me in such a big problematic situation tt its very hard to overcome it. I never had given my dad a single problem ever since i was a kid! But this is what he thinks i deserve. N despite all this problems, he still doesnt want me to know abt wat he is doing and he still wants to go repeat his mistakes despite knowing in the past he lost everything becos of those mistakes. Hmmm, i find my whining over here really pointless. But have totally zero power to say or change anything now! For all i loved my dad for, he has made me feel like i am such a loser now! I am afraid abt what else would occur next. I m seriously gd as dead! Where is this gonna lead to????
Ganeshan | 6:40 AM