Krishna's farewell dinner before he leaves to Australia again, took place on Saturday at Lau Pa Sat. I swear i am gonna make sure i m not gonna go there in the next two yrs!!! Lau pa sat is pretty much hyped about its food but the quality is not sustained when u actually go there and taste the dishes urself! The worst dish we ever ate that day was the lemon chicken, 10dollars per plate! We ordered two cos we tot one plate wouldnt be enough for 9ppl! The lady recommended it to us somemore saying tt her lemon chicken was famous. I guess they were famous, but for the wrong reasons. Not tt the taste was bad but the quantity was super pathetic. If someone asked me to list down a price for tt plate, i would probably give it 4dollars at most! 10dollars was jus nightime robbery!!!!(murali said cant say daylight robbery cos it happened at nite) After tt we ended our day with tf2 for even kurseth joined us. She gave a positive response to the game after playin it and she did come for a second time two days later which shows tt the game could be in fact played by anyone. We only had one hr to play but we all enjoyed the game thoroughly in tt short time as it was a neck to neck fite for tt entire hr. We emerged winners at the end and the feeling was shiok!

Monday was NUS's Sports Sprectra! Managed to reach the sch correctly after just hearing the directions from raja once. Good job Garnie! Hahaha. But going back was a prob of cos since raja didnt tell me tt part, more like i didnt ask him hahaha! Initially i tot if i had to go down for spectra it would be a waste of time and i could put tt time to better use, by studying. However, my thoughts changed after going there. Ntu was really doing well with all the teams that it sent. Though some teams got eliminated after first round, it was a commendable effort since 4/6 teams for both sports managed to go to the next round! Was a proud moment for even me, to support NTU for the games as NTU jus proved to be too good and impressive. Both the female team and male team made it to the finals for their respective games. Didnt win for both games in the finals but NTU did put up a tremendous fite. They created this tension level tt even i sensed as a spectator. The soccer guys were really awesome. Was amazed by their skills. Truely marvellous. The gals were spectacular in changing the lead from time to time in the finals and it was getting scarier every single moment. Well, was glad i was there. I think the netball game was a very fair one though some ppl mite say this and tt. NUS really excelled in the way tt they played and could really see that they were the strongest there and they deserved the victory. NTU did put in its maximum best at it but just didnt go our way in the end. So instead of saying that it is always NUS's game at the capt's ball, which i think is a very immatured comment to make, have the sportsmanship to accept the defeat. I'm sure the NTU players all had this sportsmanship and tt sportsmanship , was the highlight of the day in my opinion!

There is one issue that certain ppl have brought out to me! I thought i owed an explanation from the time this happened. Just tt more ppl re sensing it and asking me about it which kindaf irritates me. Sometimes u wun know the sole reason to the problem and u jus see the exterior portion of it! Which makes u conclude certain stuff. This is the case for some. Not that its their fault but i m not able to give an explanation to them. Neither do i wanna defend myself and put up a gd image. Cos i am infact doing this for a reason, and think tt i need to to be like tt for gd! To put it simply, studying is my main priority now. Not tt wat i m doing now would garner me gd results later. Cos my results also depend on how hard i work which is not happeneing at present. But still, taking such actions will save me the time and sleep tt i need and more importantly give me the peace tt i need. I have come to a stage in life where i need to make sure i swallow every single problem tt i face within me and also to prioritise my time on studies without bothering myself thinking abt these problems. Guess i m not allowed to do wat i want when another person gets involved. Though their intentions mite be right, ppl's privacy should be appreciated. I am someone who needs to be left alone when i am alone! There re definately other reasons but this reason is the gist of the entire issue here! I realize i have become someone who cant share his problems with anyone. Wasnt like tt before but now it is like tt. I prefer everything expressed in my blog when i need to rather than to someone personally!!! Even for blogging, i take my own sweep time to do it rather than it being an everyday thing!

Some void will never be gone! It always remain. It still feels as though i have not gotten out of it. Guess it would be as such, as long as i dun find the love tt i lost thru my mum!!! The pain is unbearable. Really wished she was still here with me. I tend to realize more about the importance of her presence as days go by! Every single beautiful or sad moment tt i experience urges me to think in a way like, "why is she not here to share it with me?"

Luck hasnt been on my side for very long. I was always in the losing end of it! I dun have what it takes to get what i want it seems. Let it be! Time will bring the change tt i need!!!
Ganeshan | 7:42 PM

There is workload piling up as the semester progresses. There is so much of stuff covered and it is a bit hard to keep up with the pace though i have somehow managed it. Cant remember wat happened last week but a few events do stay fresh in my memory. Finally did my ippt, tt i was trg for the past three weeks. Well, i am very disappointed with my fitness. First of all, this is the first time in my life had i not gotten a gold. And not jus tt, i knew i might not be gold calibre before the test but i really expected at least a silver. But no, didnt even get silver. Instead it was an incentive, similar to bronze! Not entirely my fault tt this happened. My sweaty palms were the cause for me to fall off the pull up bar which was quite slippery though i tot it was like a better material than the normal traditional metal bar. Was really pissed cos i usually adjust at the pull up bar itself when i m at ard 6 or 7. And i do 3 more at least after tt. I did 11 the last time i did it which was two months back. But somehow i couldnt hold the bar back when one of my hands gave way from the bar. Only did 7. One more pull and i would have gotten a silver cos it would have given me an additional point which is an overall silver. Damn!!! Ok wat was my fault was my running. I never did anything above 8.30 min for the past dunno how many yrs. This time i really tot i did well cos i was panting like shit and felt tt i was running fast. But the timing i got was a flat 10.00min. It might be a satisfactory timing for most but being a runner during my secondary, jc and army days, i think this timing really shows how much i have detoriated. One thing tt i was proud of myself was when i realised i was more well built than 80percent of them there. All the gyming did help me to shape up my body in such a way n i feel gd abt it! But guess since i wun be runnin now after ippt, fats will start to develope again in unwanted regions tt i managed to lose due to running. Maybe i should continue runnin once in awhile eh!

After ippt on sat, i didnt rest cos had to go for Ashwini's unofficial b dae celebration at east coast. Finally got to drive the car after like 2months. The car was with my first sister all this while cos her car got towed away and she needed the car for her goods to be delivered. Also she was allowed to use the car for such a long period due to her pregnancy. If not for tt, the car would have been mine long time ago. Anyway back to saturday. I drove to east coast to practise my driving. I think i have lost quite a bit of skill from the last time cos i used to be very smooth and safe. I feel both these factors have gone down. I dun feel tt safe when i am driving though my frens did said tt it was not bad at all. Guess i need more practise. And the roads are all quite confusing though i can remember a few routes. There is lots more to memorise still!

Played touch rugby at east coast with ashwini and gang. Was really fun cos been long time since we played it and we did play all out. so yea, enjoyed a lot though i was freakin tired cos of ippt earlier tt day. Didnt study properly at night as i was too tired. But didnt jus relax, instead i did some revision so tts worth mentioning. Haha.

Ok wat happened on Sunday was the most unforgottable times in my life so far. We all went down to beatty sec to play soccer. Well as for the match, our formation was totally jumbled and i was playin attacking midfield tt day. We let in four goals and all the goals were very pathetically let in by our stupid mistakes. Our worse defending so far i must mention cos i wasnt happy with how the defence was working. I did get to score a goal which was due to the opponents mistake at the penalty box. Not a goal of any skill or wat. Just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Missed a couple of shots in which i should have converted one in but i kicked the ball as if i never played soccer before. Letchmanan who passed the ball to me was pissed from his looks cos tt kindaf balls should never be missed.

Anyway, the match was not the infamous incident but it was wat happened after tt. We all were discussing abt our tactics and tts when suvin went to his bag to check for his phone. Suddenly he sounded out saying his wallet and phone were missing. Initially i tot he misplaced it and wanted to ask him to look for it again. But krish suddenly voiced out tt his belongings were also missing. Didnt stop there. It was followed by sara's belongings and letchmanan's belongings. We did call for police and all and reported the entire incident. But during tt time 2000 dollars was transacted from Letchmanan's account cos he happened to save his password in his hp. Another sum of money was used thru purchase of some gd at a shopping ctr worth a few hundreds. The matter was getting very serious after we heard abt these transactions. Went to the st georges lane to check the dustbins down there for the wallets as that was way the final transaction was made, but to no avail. Haiz. Feel really sorry for krish and letchmanan especially cos they lost the most. My stuff was safely intact cos i placed my bag at a sightful place during the match. Well, this is an expensive lesson that we should learn as krishna said. This is why we shouldnt take the line, "never leave ur things unattended", lightly!

Been very irritated with the way the police worked during that day. I know tt there is tt much tt they could do but with the little tt they could afford to do, they didnt do it properly. Dun wish to comment abt it here as its not safe to do so! anyway, this week i am tring my best to keep up with sch's pace and so far it is goin well. Jus tt i find my tue very hectic as i only get one hr break despite it being one of my longest day. But yea, wed is a break for me this sem so i think a few sacrifices need to be made. Cny is coming which means long break. Shall put it to good use. Adiyos for now!
Ganeshan | 6:47 AM

Alright! Feel quite good cos i manage to revise and do one tutorial effectively and its computing!!! So yea. Had been very slack all this while and i am getting very frsutrated abt it. Very hard to put myself into one piece and start working. I feel very lazy and tired, until a pt tt i only feel like sleeping. But guess now tt is slowly changing. Hopefully i progress even more.

I am quite frustrated abt my chem module. Seriously the notes sucks to the core. They expect those who didnt take chem , like me, to jus understand everything magically. The lecturer sucks even more. She is so fast and not even bothered if ppl understand what she is trying to say! Haiz. Die laa like tt. Anyways, last week celebrated Sara's 22nd birthday at thai express vivocity. First time i actually ate there. So didnt exactly know wat to order but since sweet and sour dishes are my all time fav, i decided to order the sweet and sour fish rice. Was really solid. It kinda gets freaky tt all of us re turning older much faster than expected.We guys knew each other since the day we were wearing shorts to sch, hahaha sec 1 and 2 i mean. We were like 13 then! Now its like almost 9yrs. Omg! Haiz scary sia. Well, coming back to the celebration, we made it very simple. We didnt even tot of getting a cake nor a present cos this yr we re planning to save our money wisely. If we had to spend so much on one birthday, the following ones would also cost hell lots. So yea to keep it low, we started off like tt. So yea all the birthdays will be celebrated at a nice diff restaurant and the others will treat the bdae boy! Yea.
Ended of the celebrations with tf2. Was gd and fun.

Sunday was the much anticipated soccer match at Anderson Sec. We really wanted to end our goal drought and win. Well, only half the mission was accomplished though. Our team's letchmanan scored one to equalise and we drew the game. Honestly, our team was quite strong tt day and we could have easily trashed the opponents who were in their 30s. But yea we were to panicky and didnt take our chances well. But at least there re improvements. Our last 20 min was exceptionally gd and i was very ahppy with the way we played at tt time. Great! And yea, joshua joined us beginning this match and he was a good recruitment. He played solidly and did his role as a left midfield well. This sunday there is gonna be another match at beatty sec. Hopefully we win this time.

Monday and tue had been sch days. Jus starting to work but not so effectively yet. Guess will take a few more days! Anyway, my maid is finally back home safe. Feel very happy abt it. Means i wun have to go buy my own meals late at night all. Lots of precious time saved and most importantly, home food is finally here. I have to say tt my maid's presence here really makes a huge difference. The house was in total mess. The clothes were all not washed. Everything was so disorganised. Now everything is the total opp of wat it was for the past 3 weeks. I wun have to sleep alone at home already and tts another gd thing. I realised though i suffered without my maid here, i still coped well and didnt complain abt being alone, not tt i have someone to complain to haha. But yea was quite gd. I manage to keep everything in place as far as possible. Still ate my 4 meals a day. Not bad.

Been quite relaxed now and my mind feels awesomely clear. I dun feel anymore tension or irritated feeling. Guess gonna keep it this way and not worry abt anything else besides my studies. enjoy whatever else happens at the mean time too. Nothing else to say already, so guess tts all for now.
Ganeshan | 6:58 AM

2009 has started and so did sch. Holidays seemed so short! Wished tt it was longer. The month of december for me was so awesome as i was out like more than 7/8 of the time! New year eve celebrations was at pump room microbrewery at great world city. We could only gather 7 of our guys then but it was gd enuff for celebration. We ate at kenny rogers first. Well dun really think its tt great. The chicken was not tt awesome! Not up to expectations. Spent abt 20 there! Afterwhich, we went to the pump room. Well wasnt tt easy getting a place at microbrewery tt day. We only decided abt new yr celebration plans the day before. So we didnt have enuff time to make reservations. The initial idea was to have it at clark quay pump room microbrewery. But that damn place was fully booked! So we were finding for many other options. In the end we decided on great world city pump room as its the same place but a much less happening venue. However, things were quite awesome there as we managed to see the fireworks from there unlike the previous yrs. We ordered two towers before new yr started. Scottish ale and india pale ale! I think the scottish ale was quite gd! Didnt make any resolutions this time for new yr. Didnt wish anyone myself. Tot sending msg thru handphone is quite a outdated thing to do. Somemore the network would be so jammed at that time. So yea only msged those who msged me. We decided to go tf2 ryte after we finshed our IPA. Was quite terrible laa. But still fun. Reached home only at 7am tt day.

Went for running on Fri after ages. Went with shalu, shanthu, Shameni and raja to macritchie early in the morning at ard 9. Me and raja did one guys route, followed by a gals route. It adds up to abt 7km plus. But running again at macritchie after a long time was a nice feeling. Once upon a time, tt was like my secondary home. Have been trainging for cross country from sec 1 till jc there! The place has been changed quite a bit. But yea, wasnt tt easy running tt much of distance after a long time. I know i cant compare my pace with last time but i did ok for my current standards hahaha. At least didnt stop.

Saturday was jj's 21st birthday. Seriously, they had so much of drinks available for free but not more than 5 ppl went to ask for those. I was quite surprised. If it was a indian party, bet the drinks would have finished. I took 4-5 glasses of tiger beer. Its never lousy to drink free cold beer u know haha! had the opputunity to meet a number of trackers tt i havent seen for quite some time. Not bad at all. Sunday was my soccer game at bedok south. We were seriously lacking all the key players in our team. But somehow, managed to make up one with wat we have. We didnt expect to win from the start cos we knew that the opponents were very strong. Surprisingly, almost everyone played above expectations. I was happy with the way the team was woring despite losing. cos there was some sort of team work this time ard. We even created a few offside traps. Really respectable performance. Guess i should change my match agent already cos he gave me the most fucked up fields of all. Ws really pathetic. And he expected a full sum of 90. My team said they wun pay anything more than 50. In the end we only paid 50 but that match agent started making noise. But yea not much he can do. He deserves wat he offers. We got a better field for next sunday's match. One of our fav teams in fact. Gonna play as a defensive midfielder this time ard. I jus wanna get out of the usual right back position i play and start focusing on midfield so tt i can run up and down. Its would be better for me cos i always run up as a right back but its very tiring whenever i have to run back to defend. So guess this position will let me do wat i want. Looking forward for the game.

Monday was first day of sch. Damn boring i have to say. Introductory lectures only so yea nothing much. Headed back home from sch and met up with krish raja and ashwini after tt at northpoint's sakura. didnt eat there cos i ate at home. Left to the airport after tt to send jj off. A really nice fellow. Felt pretty sad when he teared after hugging his mum! Its always the mum tt misses the son the most it seems. Could see it very clearly on how much she was gonna miss him. the dad was pretty cool. Could see that he was controlling his tears back. Well hopefully he enjoys the 4yrs there and studies real well like he always does. He should be fine cos he is capable of anything.

Today went for running again at macritchie. Well if u were wondering why suddenly i have started running and all, its simply cos my ippt is on the 17th this month. I know that i suck at my running and fitness now tts why before ippt, i am trying to regain a silver-gold std! Dun really expect gold tt much cos my body aint like before. Can feel tt its harder to run nowadays. Krish joined us this time and he too did the 7km plus route. Guess its good for SFC too for soccer cos both of us can run better now for the games.

Hae been home alone or almost alone for the past two weeks already. Really suck eating outside food every single day. Not been eating well cos i really got sian after the past 2 weeks. My maid is only coming back on the 13th. Abt 6days left. Its quite scary to sleep alone at home but somehow i am managing it. Not bad so far. I am more independant then before which is gd. And yea, think would be much better when my maid comes back cos i can sleep without any fear. Gonna start sleepin early for this em cos last sem this is wat tt played me out. Its pointless to go sch when u re dead tired and sleepy and not absorbing anything during lectures. Should sleep by 12.30 this time ard so tt i can have sufficent rest for the next day's lesson. And yea gonna cut down on outings and other nonsense. Guess i gotta work till 12 before i go to sleep. Cannot afford to waste my time on unnecessary stuff all! Studies come on top of anything else for me and i have no choice but to stick to this policy for the next few yrs!
Ganeshan | 5:16 AM

HeY! Well, i couldnt find anytime before the new yr to blog as i was too busy with outings. Guess today would be proper for me to reflect on how 2008 was for me. Ok, 2008 has been really a yr of very little ups and many downs! Haha. Most ppl whom i know re sayin tt 2008 was gd for them. But well, guess its not the same for me. I would consider 2008 as my worst yr so far!

The yr 2008 started off well for me. I had gotten the unit best commander award, my nsf life was coming to a close and I was more confident abt working towards a better understanding with someone!!! Was having a hell of a time going out with my parents and family members after a long time in life. I even mentioned in one of my entries earlier this yr tt the happiness was evident after we got rid of the financial issues. And since 2 yrs of national service was ending, i planned to spend quality time with my parents since i missed spending time with them for very long. Had so many plans before i was even gonna ord! Work, school, gyming and outings. I even tot of doing some courses like learning guitar and a foreign languauge. My ord date was on the 6th of February! A day tt i would never forget. Not tt it was a fantastic end to my army life, but it was the beginning of the end of my dearest and lovable Mum. That night, she was in pain and we rushed her to the hospital. The hospital itself didnt know if it was serious, tt they showed negligence in their work. The cost was my Mum's precious life. Never would i forget Feb 11th in my life, cos tts the day happiness left away from me! A day tt i realized there is only one love tt is inseperable in life, and tts the one between a Mother and her son. Losing someone who i loved the most in my entire 21 yrs of life, is something tt is painful than anything else in this world.

Anyways, life since tt day was abt how i had to overcome the sorrow and move on with my life thereafter. I made myself busy by finding a job as a relief teacher. Hit the gym whenever possible and didnt give myself any time to rest so tt i could forget abt whatever tt has happened. Found out who re the ppl true to me cos tt was the time i needed aid the most. Special thanks to frens like Rama, Sharadha and Sara! All my sji indian frens showed how much they cared for me during these tough period and i was so happy i made such gd frens. My army guys were truly amazing has almost everyone came down for the funeral and showed support. Really thank them from the bottom of my heart. Infact all the frens i have met for the past 21yrs had showed great support by jus showing up, so thanks to all of ya'll! There were some disappointments here and there during tt tough period but i understand why things were as such. But though i may forgive, i wun forget! Relatives are never helpful at all and it was evident during this important time.

Somehow, half the yr past with me tearing for almost everyday of it! May onwards i was really quite free! I started meeting a lot of my frens having splendid time with them. This is when i really thought of something more than ever in my life. I wanted to get closer somehow and tell what i felt. Took part in certain events and went for some shows tt i can never imagine myself to be in. Met lots of complications and problems soon after! Time arrived when i finally learnt tt i was purely wasting time for the past one yr plus! Decided i should give up and get prepared for uni life! Till this pt i never really had much laughter in my life.

Uni started. Met several new frens there. Very happy to have made such awesome friendships ard me. I loved the times in sch as it made me busy and it occupied most of my time. Its never nice when u have truely nothing to do! Uni's pace is very fast i have to admit. And every single second spent in sch actually counts and the hardest part is tt, u re all on ur own. I didnt realize it till recently. My results showed why others were better though in the final paper, we all were rooughly the same. The small tests had their part to play too. Very disappointed with my results as i really worked my ass off for it. But guess it should have been done from the start so tt my class tests would have helped me get the better grades tt i needed!
Nevermind, next semester is when i'll correct all those mistakes tt i did for sem 1.

I got my license in 2008 in my first attempt. Felt very happy abt it as i felt I accomplished one of the most important tasks i had! However, i didnt get the chance to drive tt much as the car is not with my father for sometime though he owns it. My dad disappointed me in a very huge way this yr. He made matters worse, took away the last bit of happiness within me and has caused me to reach to a state in life where i have never been to. I had to also deal with these problems all by myself without the aid of anyone. Showed me how much my mum shielded me away from such problems when she was ard. Now i know how tough her role was! And yea, though i didnt expect someone to know abt wat was goin on, they did infact knew abt it. And all confusions, thoughts and feelings were cleared. Dunno if its gd or bad, but yea it had a huge impact on me in a way tt i have to add it in here.

2008 was filled with many 21st parties tt i had to attend to. Finally its over and i feel happy abt it. I didnt get to celebrate mine the way i wanted to cos of a reason u'll should know by now. All the festive occasions i was really lonely at home. Be it deepavali, christmas or new yr! Felt like some prisoner during these times when ppl ard me were enjoying. But guess this is the kind of life tt i am fated to.

As u can see, there is hardly any gd memories tt 2008 left in me. I found it very hard to say anything good though i tried but seriously, i couldnt. U would probably agree tt 2008 was a bad yr for me. Never had i gone thru so much of problems and sorrows in my life. Hopefully 2009 turns out to be normal. I dun even wanna expect it to be gd cos of watever tt happened the yr before. Jus wish it would not be as bad as before! But well, u can see me smiling no matter wat despite a bad yr behind me cos somehow, i have come past it! If there is something always gd and making me smile in life, its definately my friends! Hope all my dear frens have a fanstic yr ahead and tt they would all see happiness filled thoughout the whole of this yr. A Happy New Year to all of ya!!!
Ganeshan | 5:31 AM