Hey!!! I realize i have hardly anytime to blog cos i am hardly at home. Even if i am, i have other stuff to do rather than to blog. So yea tt means i have a plenty of things to say abt but i think not everything should be said here again. My blog has lately been very emo and most of the things happening re all repetitive. I'll try my best to change tt. Hopefully after whatever tt has happened!!! Now back to the updates!

My driving test was last week monday at UBI and i had booked like 4 driving lessons immediately after my exams were over cos i was quite rusty as i never get to drive properly during my exam period. The four days really helped and i made sure i was good at evry single little checkings tt could result in pts accumulating. So yea, actual day of test came and to tell you'll the truth, i never even had a thought of failing. In my mind, i knew tt the actual test is only gonna last abt 20-25 min. So jus do wat i did the last 4days, in fact the last 4months, properly for tt small period of time. I was so confident tt i had a feeling i already had the license in my hand. Anyway, i accumulated 8pts for the actual test and knew halfway thru the test tt i had passed. Hurray, i finally got what i was dreaming for! A total of $1,200 plus spent for this. Well, i think its much cheaper than school so yea, i am so happy abt it!!!! Passing first time is really a joy!!!

Well, for me to choose a test date on nov had many reasons. One major reason was so tt i can use the car that was never used for quite some time at my house, for the whole of december. However, my stupid ass of a sister had to "borrow" the car from my dad for a fucking long period like 2 months, which is gonna stretch till Jan end! So she actually ruined all my plans together with my dad!!! Haiz. But nevertheless, i managed to get the car like 4 days after i passed. Drove down to my best fren's place in Hougang from yishun to collect my P-plate. Was quite scary to travel alone at first but i didnt really got scared at that pt! Drove him back to yishun with me as i planned to drive my nephews and niece to Pasir Ris Park!!! I was actually having a fever tt day but i didnt really care abt it much cos if not i can never drive. I was also concerned abt the safety of my nephews and niece, which made my eyes wide open. Was so shiok to drive along the TPE. Travelled at ard 110km/hr. The kids really enjoyed themselves playing at the several different playgrounds there. So happy to see these kids really smiling and enjoying without knowing whatever tt is happening in their lives. So sad to digest the fact tt my nephews and niece had to start of with such a shitty life from the beginning due to the shitty parents tt they have. Really wonder why such beautiful kids have to suffer for a mistake tt their pathetic parents commited. Hopefully i can be the one who can erase away the sad portion in these kids' lives. I dun mind taking care of them throughout my life. At least, tt would keep them smiling all day long.

Saturday was my frn's 21st b dae party. Last major birthday party tt i had to attend for this yr after a yr full of spendings for these kinda birthday celebrations. I really enjoyed during the birthday, mainly because of the freeflow of beers. Had a good time drinking with the new buddies tt i made thru the twins and sharadha! They even treated me to clubbing after tt as i didnt have much cash with me. Everything was free for me tt day. Feel so bad but nevermind. They decided to force me into it too. Went celebrity's and stayed there till 5am. Finally a gd time to dance out all the stress and worries tt was within me.

The next day, Sunday was in a way a very impt day! A lot of things happened within my family due to my actions!!! I decided this was the day and chose to do whatever i did. Well, picked up an arguement with my first sis, since she caused my maid to cry. My maid is someone whom i really respect more than any of my sisters cos she really did a job more than what a maid would do. She was the one who took care of my mum till her very last moment. My mum used to say she is also one of her daughters and tt she is the only gd one. I knew the way my mum was taken care of and i used to smile at the way she was treated by my maid. Though she aint really part of my family, i respect her cos she loved my mum and knew how much her presence mattered when she was ard. For tt i will always be greatful to her!!! Coming back to the arguement, i really whacked my sis with all those things tt i wanted to tell her off since the time she chased my parents off from her hse last time! I pointed out at every single issue including how she had let her children to suffer, how she had the cheek to go have another baby which was formed jus one month after my mum passed away. Shows how much she actually "cared" abt my mum!!! I accused her for my dad losing all his money! She was so terrified tt she ran away from the hse. My dad got informed! He called me up. Even before he could start to say anything, he got a hell of a scolding from me for all that he has caused. I told him off saying tt he had shattered my mum's dreams and tt he knew tt he really did. I told him tt he had done everything tt my mum would never like, after she passed away. My dad couldnt even defend himself cos i spoke out everything tt was really happening. I also let out how much of sufferings i have gone thru alone for the past 9months. I told him the true meaning of a father and why he cant reach tt level. I ended off by saying the only person who mattered to me was my mum cos she really lived her life for us and tt she was the only one who truly cared for me. In fact, it is really true.

My dad had nothing to say at all and he knew tt he had disapponited me and my mum in a huge way! He told my second sis abt it. She called me up to explain. Jus when she thought she was gonna be safe, i scolded her for everything tt she had done. She was shocked to hear me say all that cos the only person who had said such things to her was my mum. I told her off tt till date, she aint doing anything good for my parents and tt the only thing tt she had given them were tears!!! She couldnt defend herself too. Finally i told all of them tt they need not care abt me at all cos i have the age to take care of myself and tt i dun need anyone else besides my mum to do tt. I said tt though they re not helping me at all, the least tt they could do for me was to not hurt me in anyway! So all that i was blogging for the past few months finally came out from my mouth. Somehow, i feel so relieved. Now i know exactly what kindaf situation tt i stand in my life and have came to realize tt there aint anyone who can come as close to how my mother was to me!!! I really believe tt she is still here with me and tt she is taking care of me. I shall go on with my life without being concerned abt anyone of the others in my family! On a sidenote, my third sister got married and my dad left to the philippines for 5days. Both of this information reached my ears thru my maid!!! How great eh!!

Back to my social life. I watched Vaaranam Aayiram with my frens on the same day. The movie related a lot of things in my life. Some were exactly the same. I have to point out tt there is no way my dad is like tt. The movie never resembled him at all. However, it was more to how my mum was to me and how i felt when she passed away. The confidence in me, the smile in me, the prolonged happiness and the feeling tt i was always cared by someone and the thought tt there was someone always waiting for me was all in me purely cos of my mum!!! She was really everything to me. Good tt movies like these could actually show how much ppl like me are suffering inside and respect those whom we have lost. Oh, the movie did not jus remind me of jus my mum. In fact there were more things into it. Well, they showed the feelings one would go thru when the gal, tt they like so much, easily say tt they wun belive in like acquintance falling in love with them and tt that they need to like get used to them by going out and stuff like tt. And when we say lets go out and find out abt one another, they try to tell us off tt it aint really easy to meet them. Thus they not even giving us the chance to actually go on abt it. So it is as though rite from the start, we re rejected! Then later on they showed the gal saying tt though they mite agree to accept the guy, the dad must like the guy, the family also must like and so on. All these re pure assumptions tt they make jus cos they dun wanna accept tt guy though it is true. I'm saying abt Jus tt part tt they decide tt their family members wun like!!! Well, i am stating this lines cos it actually did came out from a gal tt i used to like!!! Not directing exactly to me but it still did!!! And those things tt the gal in the movie said were somewat similar to what the gal tt i knew told! Well, only diff was tt i never did let out the fact tt i liked her. Anyway, dun think i wanna go there now. Jus talked abt it cos the movie recalled back all those efforts and feelings tt i was involved in. Anyway, this was really a long post. Sorry for making it so long but hope u got to know more tt is happening in my life this time rd. I have left out the part abt the beach retreat with my ntu ppl. Will say abt tt in the next post. Till then take care peepz!!!
Ganeshan | 7:03 PM