Hmmm, getting to blog once a week has almost become impossible due to the amt of work load that is piling up. I am really quite pissed with myself for not using my weekends wisely for studying. Often, i get caught up with some b dae celebration, outing and some other nonsense except for studying. The semester exams are like in a month away. Seems like a am lagging behind like shit. Especially after recess week, i have been damn slack it seems. I m already one topic behind for my physics tutorial. All the others i am just on time but seems like i mite lag behind anytime. Somehow my free days get affected. Like yesterday, i went clubbing even though i told myself not to from the start. Jus tt when i saw most of my frens coincidentally at where i was, i couldnt stop myself from going when i knew all of them were. So yea, went and today practically no mood for any studying. Feel like slapping myself. I dun think i am gonna club anytime soon. Gonna keep myself distant from clubbing till i feel tt i should which i dun think will be anytime soon. Feeling quite stressed now cos of all these. Haiz.
Anyway, i was happy during the start of the week. Dun wanna list out the reason but yea i felt tt i have achieved something. Felt so good tt finally wat i wished happened sort of took place. Wed i became super ill. I really started to hallucinate stuff i guess. Whatever happened when i was trying to sleep tt day was quite terrifying. But yea, now everything is ok. I cant imagine i have lost 5kg since university commenced. From 68 to 63kg. I took lots of effort gaining mass and all but now i am slowly losing it all back. There is hardly any room for me to go to the gym. Nowadays, I dont have time for anything else besides mugging. Well, gotta wait till holidays to come, for me to hit to the gym.
Life has been so boring as of late. Dunno why but it jus feels like i m doing the same thing again and again in a routine and tt i am not doing many things properly. There is something tt i wanna talk about today tt i wanted to address for sometime. I like to clearly state tt i have absolutely no time to think abt any gals in my life for now. Seriously, i dun see why. I am quite disheartened by all tt happened before i started uni. What you want so badly sometimes, will never come to you! This is what i learnt before uni. And now, i jus cant see myself liking anyone new or stuff. Seems dumb to even like anyone at this pt of time. I dun think its necessary at all. Recently, some of my outside frens have asked me if i am attached to some particular gal. I would jus like to say tt all the people i m close with now are like my really gd frens and tts all. There is a line tt seperates gd frens and bf/gf. I know where i stand and will never cross the line cos its so dumb if i did tt. And i never wanted anyone of them whom i am close to now to be my gf cos tts quite sick from what i feel. And i have my own personal feelings and stuff tt some ppl fail to realize. I am never a person who minds when ppl make fun of me and someone else being together and all cos its kindaf normal. But when ppl mean wat they say somehow, i will be able to sense it and i jus dun think tts ryte. Go ahead if u wanna make fun as long as u dun push it too far and make those two ppl involved feel awkward. Most of the time, one of the two ppl involved will somehow start to believe wat ppl are saying and things mite get ugly. I m not anyhow stating this but its something which is very true if u have seen incidents like tt, u would know. And often ppl tend to forget tt i mite have my own interest for someone else outside and they mite jus be tarnishing my image indirectly. I am not saying tt this is the case but jus giving an example. Cos like i said, my outside frens who havent been in contact with me thought tt i am really attached. It might spoil certain things for me when ppl get too overboard. Oh yea as for ppl who dun even know me well, they should not comment at all cos i will never like it. As long as u are my fren, u can do anything to me. Cos i believe all the close ones would know what i m going thru and they wun push too far as a result.
Guess tts all i want to say this time ard. Wish tt my time managment would improve in the coming weeks. hopefully i wun waste it. No hard feelings for whatever i stated here cos if not i would never have the chance to say certain stuff. Will be back to blog when i get the time again. Tataz!!!!
Ganeshan | 5:10 AM