I have decided on something as for my blog from today's post onwards. Well, i am gonna try change the concept of my blog. I notice tt me listing abt my everyday activities is like really pointless. For example, when i play pool on like tuesday and when i talk abt it, its jus pointless. cos its not something really big tt has caused something big to happen. If i were to talk abt my soccer game, tt would be more sensible cos it contains more info, more of how i feel and more interesting in a way. At least the people who played or know abt it would bother abt wat i have to say abt the game. And sometimes when i get the time to blog like in the weekend, i seem to forget wat i actually did for the weekdays cos they re like not really impt or wat. My blog, i feel should rather contain more of my views on certain stuffs, abt things tt has affected me in some way and of other issues tt i feel should be talked abt. Its jus boring for even myself to read my blog and seeing wat i did for the day. Its like me forcing myself to actually type it out. Tts quite dumb in a way.

So with that concept in mind, let me start with today's post. Well, i have to talk abt one movie tt i watched twice for the past week. Its Dasavatharam!!! Kamal in Ten roles. Well, i read abt the movies reviews before i went to watch it. They jus downgraded the entire movie saying tt there was no story, no link between the kamals and tt it was a lousy movie. So after reading all these, i still decided to watch the movie. Being a kamal fan, i cant afford not to. So yea, bastard my frens and watched the movie with rama in a weekday. We wanted to watch it at Causeway point so tt no one could spot us. Cos if we had gone to the yishun theatre, ppl mite have the oppurtunity to notice us. i felt damn bastard cos i told my frens tt we will all watch it together and tt we had to wait for all our guys to return back from overseas. But, the hype tt the movie created could not keep me away from going to the theatre earlier. So yea, we decided we should catch it first and if it was gd, we should go second time!

Now as for the review, i think that the mive was really impressive. There was story. Kamal did perfect job in doing all the ten roles. i was amazed by his efforts. Quite cool to see like 2-3 kamals for every scene. My favourite of the kamals was fletcher, the bad guy! Hahaha! The Balram Naidu also cos he is damn funny. And i like avatar singh's look. Haha. Well bad things abt the movie would be like wat some ppl said. Ten roles was not really needed. I am not sayin he did not do a gd job. Just tt there are like 3-4 kamals who re really not needed in the movie. The tall guy, the old lady, the black guy are all so random and really not needed. but i find the other kamals all relevant. Some of my frens were like sayin other ppl could have been used for the other roles. I find tt very stupid. cos firstly, they knew tt kamal was doin ten roles. And of cos any guy could do tt role laa but kamal chose to wat. So appreciate for the effort laa. Mite seem simple and artificial laa the make up, but he spent like 8hrs jus for it each day from wat i read. So yea, i respect the effort.

Well, there is one thing tt the movie talked abt. The scientist kamal was like an atheist. Well i jus found out tt in real life he is an atheist. didnt know abt it at all. Quite shockin to know abt it. Cos, as for me, i m like not praying to any god. And i have told my frens tt i have no belief in praying. So now ppl mite think tt i mite be like tt since i kamal fan. So let me clear tt doubt. I mite be a fan but not until the extent tt i follow wat he does and like give my life for him all. He jus happens to be my fav hero on screen tts all. Not believing in god is my personal choice. If one asks me why, i would actually say tt this choice tt i took was because of certain reasons. I used to pray to god when i was very young. I prayed to lord vinayagar. He is like my family god! So yea. Since young i have seen all the problems in my family. I m the youngest so i gotta see all tt from young onwards which actually changed me quite a lot. My parents are really firm believers and they pray to god religiously. But, wat happened for such nice parents tt i have re not wat they deserved. And i definately knew tt they prayed for all their kids to have a gd life, tt they would have a bright future and all. But, i havent seen any of them turn out tt way. Instead, they went against my parents. there were some major events tt occured in my family when i was like 6 yr old. I still cant forget. As i grew up, i witnessed a lot of other problems tt my family faced. i was always with my parents even then. didnt give up on them. Helped them even though i was like only sec3. Not tt it was a big effort or wat but i did wat i could. And yea, i began to feel tt prayin to god was not so useful. Cos, nothing really happens. what u pray for, u dun get most of the time.

So yea, i decided. i should be a free thinker. And stopped praying. Tt was in secondary school. Well, i didnt see the pt whereby devotees have to perform certain stuff. I dun wanna mention wat. I jus dun see why they have to do such things. did god ask them to do it? Will god only help when we ppl feel the pain? Must we really do something for god for him to return back the favour? As human beings we re taught to forget the gd that we do for others and remember wat others do for us. But why its not the same for like God. Why does he expect something from us or we make it seem as though he does? Till a certain pt in my life, i was jus a free thinker. i respected watever my frens did for god, and whatever prayers tt i had to attend since others asked me to do it. But, one day, everything changed. From a free thinker, i have start to beileve tt there aint God. Well, not as strong an atheist tt u mite think i am. I still do respect religions and wat ppl can do for their religions. But personally, for me, i dun believe on someone who i cant feel, see or hear. Well take note, i added those words feel and hear. Cos some ppl mite qn me tt air cannot be seen so does it mean there is like no air. U cant see but u can feel. Same for my mum! She aint ard and i can no longer see her. Does tt mean i dun believe in my mum? No! I still feel my mum. She has somehow passed her blood and something in her to me that i can still feel her. Even before her last momenets, i didnt feel alrite. There was something really wrong in my system tt i was jus not feeling normal and felt something was gonna be gone. There is a link. so i belive that she still is ard within me. But god! Where? I havent felt before, i never seen him and i have never heard him. I dun wanna say tt my mum is my god. Cos i think she is better than God. She can be heard, seen and felt. And she did help me when i needed it. Not like god who didnt when i asked.

Well, the main reason for me not to believe in god is after my mum passed away. Its not tt she passed away tt i dun pray to god. Its tt she actually uttered out something tt i heard, during her last moments. She actually knew something was happening and she actually said, "God, please safe me!" She actually even mentioned the God tt she wanted to help her but i aint gonna reveal tt. Besides tt, there re some children whom re thrown away jus becos they re not born in a proper condition. like they re a bit abnormal. Wat did these kids do for them to suffer until such an extent. Tsunami, The Earthquake, Tornado all these re still occuring now and then. Taking away millions and billions of lives away. Why? Why aint god saving them? We ppl, cry seeing the ppl who have suffered. We actually help them by giving our donations and all. We re doing wat ppl pray to God to give. Well, i really believe tt GOD is the heart tt actually helps ppl when they really need it. A lady in her old age, not needed by her kids anymore, seeling tissue papers trying to eat one meal a day is someone who God cant help? Well i will. does tt mean i am better than God.

Some ppl can ask. Does tt mean i only appreciate if good happens and agree that God exists then. Well, let me clear tt doubt too. Every good thing in my life, is cos of real life ppl and myself. I have never given the credit to God in anyway before. And any bad tt happens, i am also not blaming tt God caused it. It jus happened. what has to happen will happen is my theory. We cant depend on God to alter it, is my opinion. Tts why i believe tt there aint God! So any bad that happened or good that happened is all not cos of God! Cos i feel there needs to be one if i was to point my fingers at. My mum's death, tornado and all other disasers tt happened can be blamed upon ppl's negligence, the plates movement tt causes the disasters and fate. Yea, i think there is something called as fate. what has to happen, will happen. But we can try sometimes to alter it. But we cant depend tt on God. Believing in ourselves is better than believing in God is my policy!!!

Anyway, enuff of all that. I am really happy that my frens who went overseas for different reasons, have returned back home. they re really close ppl to me that i am really quite happy from their return. Plus i saw a movie which i think was damn gd tt i even bought the vcd. Santosh Subramaniam it is. Harini is damn cute plus the acting and storyline simply power. the humour is the best part of the movie. Well, thats all for this post. Hope u enjoyed reading it this time ard. C ya real soon.
Ganeshan | 6:40 AM