Ok Suraen's birthday was last Saturday! Me prak and anu went there early to settle some stuff and set up certain things. A lot of things started to screw up. Like the projector which couldnt project the stuff from the laptop. And the electricity of the place tripped like 4times. But somehow with enuff help, everything was smooth from the moment suraen arrived. He arrived at 8 and tt gave us more time to actully fix the problems that surfaced. The party from the feedback i got was really gd! So i m happy abt it. The video and the sari game in my opinion was the highlight tt nite. And the dance floor was better than i tot. At first i guessed it was only gonna be my sji guys dancing. But yea suraen's relatives and other frens also joined in. Even his dad and mom danced cos we force them. Hahaha. So yea i was happy overall with it since Suraen seemed happy. After the party, we actually went Jeanz. Suraen had to chip in more money cos i was broke so he helped me pay first. Wasnt tt fantastic at Jeanz. Firstly i was damn shagged and had no mood. Secondly i was bothered abt another issue which was quite disturbing. Thirdly the deejay jus didnt spin gd music and most of the songs spoilt my mood. So left at ard 4. The taxi ride home with Suraen Rama and Suresh was hilarious cos of the nonsense tt rama came up with throughout the ride.
Sunday was soccer after damn long, especially for me. I had fun though. Looking forward for matches in the weeks ahead. Monday i went for cj show. Sharadha paid for the tix since i am still broke. Really appreciate it and thanks. But guess wat, the show was simply fucked up. I feel ashamed to have gone there as a senior cos the show was a bladie waste of time. Shows tt no effort was put into it and everything seemed last min. Why bother doing a show when u know u re not prepared and not ready to deliver? I jus dun understand. The only thing tt i enjoyed watching was the nj dance. So obvious tt they would win. Tt gives me some hope tt at least njc's show this fri will be nice and worth a watch. I decided to stay home on tue cos of lack of money. Wednesday went tekka with Sharadha. Ate at komalas. She bought things for her mum and we had some stupid arguement over god. I am not a believer so i actually said something which seemed to have hurt her belief. Hahaha. Was quite funny actually. But yea comin to think abt it, seriously i dun believe cos of whatever tt has happened in my life. And i'll stay tt way. Today i watched thalapathy on Sun TV. My fav movie in tamil. Well i was jus upset after watching the movie cos since last time, everyime the mum-son relationship is shown in the movie, i actually tear. This time around i teared even more cos what happened jus kept coming to my mind. Its becoming a routine tt i am like thinking abt this and tearing everytime.
Hmmm my mood was dampened cos of me thinking abt watever tt has happened. Mainly abt my mum! Jus then something happened today tt stunned me for a few seconds cos i didnt expect it. But somehow it was not wat i thought it was. And somehow i expected it to turn out to be like this cos seriously i have lost hope! So yea.
After having some conversations and some research, i have come to this decision tt actually i should stop wat i was trying so hard for. Seriously its been damn unfair and very immatured. After all these time tt i have spent and effort tt i have put, if there is no change, why continue? Jus really disturbed by it but now i wanna make this clear. No more! Why be so dumb?
Stupid NUS rejected me once again. But i feel ok cos NTU seems gd to me and also i m no longer eager to go NUS. Only thing tt is making me sad is tt i cant study with Dhinsu, Pasu and Murali! If not we would have been in the same course. Nvm. I'l adjust with ppl i know in NTU. Tmr is the NJC show, ARISTAL. My interest level is low now but still have to go cos the tickets have been bought and i dun wanna spoil anyone's mood. So yea i will still go, jus to watch the show!!!
Ganeshan | 6:06 AM